Alcohol Rants IV

Got this from Melanholic,

*Alcohol Effects & Remedies *
* *
*1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet.
Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink
on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward. *

*2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause: You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor. *

*3. Symptom: The floor looks blurry.*
* Cause: You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.*

*4. Symptom: The floor is moving.
Cause: You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you. *

*5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause: You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!
*
*6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and
the music is very repetitive.
Cause: You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.*

*7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers look strange.
Cause: You're in the wrong house.*
* Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.*

Allow me to add

*8. Symptom: Suddenly you see a huge vomit and smells funky in front of you.
Cause: You are puking into the toilet bowl.*
* Cure: Incurable.*